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Veerana and the Like


2010
08.21

Posted in Randomness | 1 Comment »

Does anyone remember the 80′s horror film called Veerana? Here’s a poster. Does this bring back any memories?

I know, I know. This movie is really old. But you might have caught it on evening Zee Cinema like I did. Perhaps some of you guys remember Jasmin floating in a tub of bubbles showing as much skin as the censors would allow in the “O Saathi” song. Go search for the song on Youtube if you really want to watch it. This is a family type blog. Oh all right. Here it is.

Anyway, this post is not about Veerana, as such. It’s about the fine art of appreciating B-grade Bollywood and in some cases, mainstream Bollywood that’s suspiciously B grade. Yes. This is my shameful secret. I love watching B grade and other assorted masala films. I love Rajnikanth’s fights. I love Balakrishna’s ability to make Tata Sumos fly into the air just by entering the villain’s adda. I love Mithun da when he sings

D se hota hai dancer
I se hota hai item
S se hota hai singer
C se hota hai chorus
O se orchestra

I love songs like Ringa Ringa (from the movie Arya 2). But before you ask, I haven’t stooped so low as to be able to accept Allu Arjun as a mainstream actor yet. Those interested in a translation of the lyrics, email me.

I love Govinda’s clothes. Yes. You heard me right. I love Govinda’s clothes in his early 90′s movies with Karishma Kapoor. Remember songs like Tum to dhokhebaaz ho? And I have a terrible memory that retains the lyrics of songs like “Accha sila diya tune mere pyaar ka“. Yes, the very song that propelled Sonu Nigam into mainstream cinema. While you’re there, don’t forget to read the comments about the song.

So… Coming back to Veerana. The movie has all the classic elements of a B grade horror movie. Bad acting, lots of skin, predictable plot, terrible make-up, evil tantriks, powerful holy men holding up Om signs, and of course, an evil, ugly witch who takes over the bodies of beautiful women who meets her end in a temple. To be able to appreciate this movie or any of my other favourites, you must be a firm believer in the principle of “It’s so bad that it’s awesome”.

Imagine for a moment that you are your driver, or maid or the watchman of your apartment complex. You’ve probably taken more crap from your employer all day than they have from their boss. You know more about inflation than the lady who’s driven around in an conditioned car who shops in the (air conditioned) store that sells Washington Apples. You’ve had enough to deal with all day and you decide to go watch a movie. There’s a Govinda flick complete with slapstick comedy, sexy heroines, songs, fights and villain’s adda. There’s another movie that’s grim, dark and real. Without a happy ending.Which do you pick?

I endorse escapism any day. And melodrama. And horror films that aren’t scary. And oh, Jasmin in the bathtub.

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Add New Post


2010
08.04

Posted in Life, Randomness, The Way I Am, The Way I Say It, The Way I See It, Too Much Time | 3 Comments »

Here are some thoughts I had for blog posts. I can’t seem to be able to follow up on them and write a long enough or even a halfway decently structured post. It’s quite a mishmash but bleh! who cares?

Are Saris dying?

Why do such few women of our generation wear saris anymore? I’m not against western attire and I know jeans and kurtis are probably the new national dress of urban Indian women but it seems a shame that western business wear at work and “fusion wear” at weddings are the norm instead of just another addition to a woman’s wardrobe. I’m all for a little black dress on some occasions but I wonder how many woman have a sexy black chiffon sari in their wardrobes too… Nothing beats a sari for elegance, grace, sensuality and showing off your curves. And let’s not forget the added advantage of not having to shave your legs to wear one!

The Great Indian Family

What’s the Indian family like? What are some of the eccentricities that everyone can relate to? Can we agree on some standard characters? How many of these sound familiar?

There’s usually a wise old woman in every family who can tell you “the way things were always done” in the family, who seems to know everyone’s birthday and anniversary and the names of everyone’s kids… You know, the person who’s always at the center of every family photograph (sometimes even seated between the bride and groom in the “new family” photo).

There’s always an uncle or aunt who never tells you when they’re coming for a visit and refuses to take subtle (and not so subtle) hints about their departure. There’s usually a diabetic uncle or aunt who gorges on sweets and rice and complains about their knees. There are usually some cousins who want you to know how well they’re doing abroad (who always bring you a bag of Hershey’s candy and treat you like you’re their sole link to India).

There’s usually a bratty sister or brother, perhaps the youngest in the family, who thinks he/she’s always right who you can never please (hey! that sounds a little like me!). There’s the Buddha of the family. You know, the peacemaker, the person who can never admit that one person is right and the other wrong. They just refuse to lose composure no matter what the level of drama. Which brings us to the drama queen. And there’s usually a loyal servant too, somewhere in the picture. And lots of other people who tend to blend into the background except when there’s drama…

The Need for Well Toned Midriffs

There’s being comfortable with your body and then there’s just plain unsightly. Why can’t some people just hide their flabby/unattractive body parts (I was referring to arms, legs and beer bellies. What were you thinking about dusht buddhi?). I realize there are some unrealistic expectations out there. You’re supposed to be about 20 lb underweight but look curvy just the same. But just because you’re rebelling against the anorexic look imposed by the media it doesn’t mean you have to wear clothes that show off every bit of extra weight you’re carrying. Why is it politically incorrect to say, “Don’t wear a chiffon sari if you don’t have a well toned midriff”? or, just to expect people to wear well fitting clothes that make them look nice instead of well, you know what… I know… No one’s perfect all the time but you know what I mean…

Time Freeze

When we leave a place or person and go back after a long time, we’re always surprised to see that they’ve changed. It’s like the place/person is frozen in time in our minds and we just don’t want to accept that they’ve gone one with their lives. Being shocked by how much your parents have aged since you last saw them. Being thrown off by new trends that have become the norm since you were last in your hometown. It’s not just about familiar landmarks disappearing. It’s almost as if the culture/values you’ve anchored yourself by are suddenly lost. Someone who hasn’t been in India for over twenty years is shocked that young people in India date. I’m surprised by the shift from the sabzi mandi to supermarkets. That sort of thing. Why is it so hard to accept the change we haven’t been a part of?

10 comments

Driving


2010
06.21

Posted in Randomness | 10 Comments »

Steps for driving in the US:

  1. Enter car
  2. Adjust rear-view and side mirrors
  3. Check mirrors (to ensure no one’s lurking behind the car)
  4. Slowly reverse out of parking spot (if you’ve managed to parallel park somewhere downtown, God save you)
  5. Check mirrors (just in case)
  6. Merge onto street
  7. Check mirrors (also check blind spots)
  8. Merge into desired lane
  9. Check mirrors (to ensure you haven’t annoyed anyone)
  10. Pay attention to stop lights, stop signs, pedestrian crossings and so on. Stop as required
  11. Check mirrors (to make sure no one’s trying to merge into your lane)
  12. Keep 500 feet away from bicycles
  13. Check mirrors (to ensure there are no bikes around)
  14. Indicate lane change at least 200 feet in advance
  15. Check mirrors (before changing lanes)
  16. Change lanes
  17. Indicate you’re going to going into (no, no, not literally) Wal-mart/Indian restaurant/Gas station/mall
  18. Check mirrors (also make sure there’s no one in your blind spot)
  19. Indicate you’re going to park in desired spot
  20. Check mirrors (just in case)
  21. Lock car.

Driving in India, is something like this:

  1. Enter car
  2. Adjust rear-view mirror (only if ferrying elderly passengers). Close side mirrors (to ensure a passing motorcycle doesn’t break one)
  3. Reverse out of parking spot (reverse horn takes care of everything else)
  4. Drive
  5. Honk (just to warm up)
  6. Swerve around obstacles. Obstacles may include but are not limited other cars, pedestrians, cycles, autos, trucks, busses, cows, seven seaters (dunno what they’re called outside Hyderabad), fruit sellers, pollution check vehicles, traffic constables and the occasional bullock cart (only if you live in the suburbs). There may also be dogs, goats, sheep and of course, children.
  7. Honk (to make your presence felt)
  8. Be guided by traffic around you. Not traffic lights/traffic police. Stop only if car in front of you stops.
  9. Honk (to urge the vehicle in front of you move faster)
  10. Only indicate right turns. Optional if you’ve stopped at a traffic light.
  11. Honk (to indicate that although you’re in the left lane, you want to turn right)
  12. Merge onto main roads without fear or concern. Have no fear. Remember, you’re part of the obstacle course for other drivers.
  13. Honk (to alert other drivers of your presence as you merge onto the main road)
  14. Avoid hitting anything smaller in size than your own vehicle (or of course, avoid hitting a bus or truck. But that’s just common sense). Remember, the bigger vehicle is always liable for an accident.
  15. Honk (just in case)
  16. Reach destination
  17. Park
  18. Lock car

Who can tell me what’s more fun?

Inspired by this blog.

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