A parent’s greatest enemy

A parent’s greatest enemy is low blood sugar (to use my MIL’s term) or plain old hunger (to use the normal term). Not the child’s. The parent’s. The Hero prefers to replace the term low sugar with low caffeine.

After careful observation (and bitter experience), I’ve come to the conclusion that humans don’t really grow up after age two. Oh, physically and intellectually we probably do but emotionally, in thew ways that really count, not so much. We develop sophisticated language skills and rules of civilized behaviour in order to distance ourselves from these deceptively tiny human beings but underneath it all, I am convinced, the whiny and irrational toddler rages strong. All it takes is a trigger. Hunger is a prime trigger.

hangry

Here are some examples of things I’ve said to/about Chotu – with fullu feelings to match – before my morning coffee-tiffin:

He should understand how hard it is for me when he doesn’t want to get dressed in the morning.
The Hero, though totally un-caffeinated at the time, knew better than to react. He did roll his eyes, though…

Chotu kanna, let’s get ready! Don’t you want to go to school?
And what answer does one expect from a kid on Monday morning?

If you wiggle while getting dressed, Amma won’t put on your clothes, ok deal?
Have you ever met a toddler who’s objected to nudity?

Chotu! If you don’t drink your milk I’ll give it to the pussy-cat!
Chotu was all excited about going out to find said pussy-cat.

Chotu kanna, sometimes you have to listen to Amma whether you like it or not! Now come here!
Despite the high level of self-righteousness in the preceeding statement, when one doesn’t actually give out whacks on the bum, such threats are basically empty and lead to more “Ooh! Mommy made funny screaming sound. Let’s see what else does that!” experiements. Sigh! Yes Dear, you were right all along.

(to The Hero) Urgh! It’s all your fault that I have to go to work.
The wise man replied, “The kid would still have to go to school…”

Barring a great medical breakthrough in the field of personality transplants, our kids are stuck with the parents they’ve got. So today I resolve to cook myself breakfast before I make Chotu’s lunch. I also resolve to make pulav and raita for lunch every Monday morning.


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2 thoughts on “A parent’s greatest enemy”

  1. Agree with your mom. I am no doctor but I discovered that patience is directly proportional to your feeling of being physically fit and that is in turn inversely proportional to hunger. I always had my own breakfast/lunch/dinner before proceeding to feed the kid. Also most of the time the kid fed him/herself a portion of the the meal while we were having our own on the dining table.
    I also derived that in order to keep the kid happy, I need to be happy first and hence started carving out some time for following my own likes (without the guilt – I was doing this for the kid 🙂 )
    Can totally relate to the morning school routine. It’s not going to get better anytime soon. The rush-rush-rush still goes on every morning @ my place 🙂

    1. Heh! I have no hope at all! Besides, my Monday blues start on Sunday evening. The kid at least deserves a couple of hours…

      I was/am such a brat that my morning routine was unchanged even after I started working and commuting with my dad 😛 It’s only after spending some time in the US that I started getting better at arriving anywhere on time because I learned the importance of being punctual. Even now I do it because I should be setting an example for the kid. Otherwise, I’m terrible at it!

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