We hope it’s a boy but a girl is also ok

So, a close relative is pregnant with her second child. They already have a daughter so now everyone thinks they deserve a son. This is the conversation I had with the woman’s father-in-law. Let’s just call him UncleJi (UJ) for short.

UJ: We hope it is a boy because they already have a girl. What’s wrong with that?

Me: Ok, so if the first child was a boy would you be intensely praying for a girl this time around?

UJ: Err… Not really. As I said, anything is ok.

Me: So, two girls is not as desirable an outcome as two boys is?

UJ: I did not say that. I am just saying that since they have a girl, they should now have a boy.

Me: Yes, yes. I don’t dispute that everyone wants a ‘balanced family’. I’m just asking you a hypothetical question. If your first grandchild was a boy and a second was on the way, would you be as intensely hoping for a granddaughter as you are for a grandson right now?

UJ: Uh… As I said, anything is ok. If the first is a boy either girl or boy would be ok. We don’t have those kinds of prejudices. I am only saying that it is good to have a boy now because we have a girl. That’s all.

Me: So if the first is a boy, you can live with the second  being a girl but you wouldn’t be disappointed if it’s a boy again. But if the first is a girl the second had better be a boy because you have no boys? Good going Uncleji. You’re a well-disguised sexist.

Rolling eyes… Indian families…


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3 thoughts on “We hope it’s a boy but a girl is also ok”

  1. Yeah. Now the “educated” Indian middle class is ashamed to openly show the prejudices. But the patriarchy flourishes secretly. It surfaces occasionally with my parents and ILs too. Enough to make me mad!

  2. Din’t you know that boys are always boys? They are the ones who bear the brunt of the whole familial responsibilities no matter what! And females- all they do is really only cook, keep the hourse clean, give birth to kids, raise them, work at home and outside- umm that’s all I can think of now!

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