I’ve talked a little about how friends reacted to the news that we’ve decided to move back to India for good. Today, it’s time to talk a little about how family reacted when we first told them.
In a word, disappointed.
Remember, the two families involved are not the kind who depend on remittances from abroad. There is no ulterior motive to them wanting us to stay in the US. Yet three out of the four parents (the odd one out being The Hero’s father) would rather see us live happily in the US than move back to India. Not that it’s been said in as many words but that it’s been made evident in many other ways.
When Deepti (the NY one) left a comment on one my posts saying the difficult part is yet to come, I didn’t really get what she meant. But now I do. Returning from the US is seen by some as the ultimate failure. There are a million speculations. Did we not get jobs? Were we fired? Was it because of my PhD? Whose idea was it to return; his or mine? Did we really manage to save any money at all? What do you think the real problem is?
It doesn’t bother me. Not one ounce gram. But since the ones asking these questions are friends and friends of friends and neighbours and relatives of neighbours of my parents, they care. I’ll change my name to Lachcho Rani if they’d ever admit that it bothers them. But it bothers them. And this causes them to speculate why we want to move back. Occasionally, my mother will ask a hypothetical question, “What if either of you gets a great job offer from the US?” And I always have the same reply, “Not for a million dollars, ma.” Well, that’s a lie. For a million dollars, I’d surely seriously consider anything. But you get the idea. The hypothetical questions range from the very obvious, like the one above to the very devious, “Do you realize that if you live in India there will be more visitors than in the US?” And I always reply saying, “But the number of days they stay is so much lower! No six month long visits driving you insane…”
Besides, on a very relevant tangent, don’t people realize that it’s a zillion times easier to deal with inconsiderate guests in India? They don’t stay as long, you can hire people to cook for them, clean up after them, and drive them around. You can hide much longer in office than in the US and hey, it’s way cheaper. Also, don’t people realize that the lack of a green card/visa is no longer a deterrent to most evil in-laws? (mine aren’t evil but this is just a tangent) I’ve seen worse joint families in the US than those in India. So no, if you think you can hide from nosy family in the US, you’re sadly mistaken.
Coming back to the point at hand… I realize that our generation is the first in a long, long time where living in India seems to be a lucrative option. Those of us moving back aren’t doing so out of filial obligation and duty. We’re not moving back because we’re afraid of raising our (as of today non-existant) children in the US. We’re not worried about the exchange rate or the savings. We’re not moving back out of a sense of patriotism. Or out of some kind of misplaced idealism. We’re moving back because it makes sense…
Here are the top 5 reasons why you might want to consider moving back to India right after you earn the highest degree you wish to earn from the US:
- There are dozens of opportunities in India and many are a whole lot more accessible because guess what? You’re a citizen! You can work, make money, start up a company with cheap labour, be spiritual, make money off of people looking to be spiritual, the possibilities are endless… By the time you get around to possessing the coveted Eagle Passport, your dreams are probably gone, anyway.
- As of today, it’s probably easier to land a job in Bangalore than in most of the US. (Austin may be an exception.)
- The trend is towards being based in a country without losing out on opportunities to work elsewhere.If dollars are important to you, you can continue to earn dollars while also being able to afford to pay a maid, cook, driver, istri-wallah, and odd-jobs lady. What’s more, you can actually feel good about yourself for doing so.
- You’re closer to your parents. This means you don’t have to worry from a distance and fret every single time they fall ill. And trust me, they’re growing older and they will fall ill. No amount of wishful thinking is going to change that.
- Your kids can grow up in an environment of brutal competition and toughen up a little. On the downside, you can’t really write a bestseller because everyone around you is doing the same.
Are these the reasons why we’re moving? Not really. Then why are we moving? Because we don’t really want to live in the US full time. “Why don’t you like it?”, mom asked. “Why don’t you eat fish, ma?”, I asked my staunchly brahmin mother. “We just don’t like it!”
