Simbly Bored

I get high on the most innocuous of things. The item that tops the list is well made, slightly strong filter coffee.

I’m rarely high. And if I am, its in the company of an extremely close friend. That is to say, any one of the people I’m very close to but not more than one. I’m quite myself when there’s more than one person around.

This brings me to the next point. How is it that you can get high sometimes but not at other times when it’s the exact same thing I’ve consumed each time?

Final point, I get high all by myself with no help at all…

Sometimes, it’s good to be a little unhinged. Good to let go. Good to just be yourself… It’s fun to be high. I plan to try and be high all of next week. In good spirits that no one can touch…

ps: am a little high right now. please excuse

What I Do NOT Want:

# Cute things with flowers and doves on them
# Home accessories
# Kitchen appliances
# Depressing looking things
# Something so expensive I get embarressed to take it (I wish!)

# Books I’ll need when I go for my MS
# A laptop bag
# A light weight jacket
# Chocolate
# Something that would make me laugh

# All my friends to be there
# A wedding with no emotional scenes
# Perfect pictures
# No gifts
# Memories for a lifetime…

The more confused I am, the more the internal conflict, the more lies I tell, the more I avoid people who make me think about things more clearly.

What is the conflict? Good question. By the time I’ve articulated it, I’ve usually resolved it. So there’s no point in describing these eternal conflicts of mine…

As of now, I’m keep away from real conversation and leave half my brain free so I can think about other things instead…

Some of the excuses I make in my escape from conflict are quite shameless, really… I wish I could confront things better.