Simbly Bored

Popsicle for me and dad. His was more paisa wasool coz his took him back half a century and me just a couple of decades…

A Long, Long time ago, well, three years ago, my vital stats were 34-27-35.

And those were the days when I wore circus tents for clothes.

Time passed and I got rid of circus tents… And I started to wear pretty hourglass shaped outfits. But then, the unforgivable happened. I became an IT professional. Gone are the days when Temptations (of the edible kind ) were bought by fudging phone bills and catching the bus. Now, they are bought, gifted and fleeced out of unsuspecting souls. Gone are the days of climbing 4 flights of stairs everyday (running with the tummy tucked in as Cosmo advises) to reach class. And gone are the days in the Gym, training under “Mr. Andhra Double Silver Medallist.”

Of course, at the end of it all, it’s the waistline that pays. Even the tailor looked at me in disbelief last time. “Madam, thoda weight put on kiye hain na?”, he said while also looking at me with injured eyes that screamed, “There goes the last gult girl who didn’t go her amma way…”. The doctor dropped gentle hints. “I think you should work out, Hypothyroidism does sometimes lead to weight gain…” “Aren’t your parents a looking for matches?”, asked the dermatologist delicately, rejoicing at my dismay when I stepped onto the scales in her office and looked at the highest ever figure I saw in my life. “Body fat on the higher side. BMI is almost averge”, said the nutritionist. And the sari cried to hide my waist… I don’t even feel like buying flowy transparent ones anymore! Gasp!!

I tried yoga, but then I fell asleep. I tried running, but I just ran back to bed. I tried skipping and got out of breath in a few minutes. I tried Pranayama and promptly felt like reversing the digits in my age…

But at last, accompanied by chubbier friends, I’ve finally declared war. One hour of aerobics every evening. I shall Jump my way into sexy clothes.

Of course, I’m vain. Of course my weight bothers me more than my career does.

And of course, drama aside, I would like to emphasise that I’m not really fat. It’s just two inches and five kilos that I’m chasing. And oh, I spend 30 mins on my skin each evening watching a soap on TV

I need to make an effort to look good now. I feel soo old :’(