I need my voice

I know it’s only been a month since my dramatic announcement but given the events of the last few months in Chennai* and the world at large, I think that now more than ever it’s important for citizens to have a voice. Blogs are important.

Instead of turning inwards to understand myself, however, I think I need to now look outwards and describe the world around me. We all have our ways of making sense of the madness around us. Some of us read, some talk, some obsessively pore over the news, some turn to history, some just tightly clutch a fantasy of a fast disappearing world… Some of us are curiously detached as we silently plot our tiny data points about the world around us and join them to form our own views of what is happening.

I think observers ought to start documenting their observations now. We need to start taking a look at the world without slapping on binary labels – Bhakt/Congi, Capitalist/Socialist, Feminist/Misogynist, Right Winger/Liberal, Jallikattu supporter/ traitor, and so on. Instead, we need to try and objectively understand what drives people.

Who knows? Perhaps in some post-apocalyptic world where nothing but Google’s caches survive we bloggers might be the sole means for future historians to understand the world. There will be plenty of artifacts to describe events that happened,of course, but blogs, journals and diaries will be the sole means of knowing what people truly lived through.

So I’m going to take V’s advice and write more. But about different things now. Let’s see where the blog leads…

* Demonetization, Amma’s death, cyclone Vardah, Jallikattu protests, and now #OPSvsSasikala 

All or Nothing

I’m always going to be a chatterer, that will likely never change. But I’m also learning to be more reserved. I don’t mean I’d shy away from sharing my opinion if asked or that I’d even sugar coat things if I’m sharing ideas. I just mean my deeper thoughts and emotions are off bounds to most people now. Where once my default state was to trust until proven wrong, I am now far more content being the only one who understands me than trying to explain myself.

You see, there’s only a thin line between trying to explain myself so that someone else understands me and actually defending myself and my emotions and trying to justify what I feel. I feel that I’m increasingly using my blog for the latter. V once said I use my blog to understand myself and he was right. But having spent endless hours introspecting, walking, hiking and talking when in the US, I’m now quite done. What is not done is private.

My resolve to close myself up makes blogging hard. Theres no point writing a personal blog if I’m going to be reserved. The point is to articulate raw emotion in all its glory. By resolving to be more reserved I have killed my muse, so to speak. I will therefore be shutting sh0p until I figure out what I’d like to write and where.

If you’ve stuck with me this far, thank you. I’ll be back in a new Goddess avatar.

Five ways to play with a beanie baby

My neices were visiting over the New Year vacation and they brought Chotu a book and a toy. Any books are welcome in our house but an elephant beanie baby? Not so much. In a bid to get Chotu to play with a stuffed toy (for the first time ever) I asked him to give me 5 ideas for playing with Ela the Elephant (girl power!).

Here they are:

  1. Pull out the eyes, melt them and make windows for his lego set
  2. Cut it open, pull out the stuffing and make a giant sponge
  3. Scrape off the fur, put it in a Volcano (our current obsession)
  4. Put the whole thing in a volcano

Finally, when I said no volcanoes he said, “Pull out the eyes and play I spy…”

There you have it folks, a boy’s perspective on stuffed elephants.

I then suggested, “How about making her a member of your Volcano expedition?” He mulled it over and then appointed her as the Assistant Scientist who analyzes lava samples. Pengu Penguin holds the rope in his beak as Chotu climbs down the volcano to collect samples. All in all a win of some sort for the elephant and penguin.

Chotu’s still curious about what would happen if you were to throw a stuffed toy into a volcano, though. Any answers?

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